Cubes and Punishment by Scott Adams

Author:Scott Adams [Adams, Scott]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-4494-1777-2
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing LLC
Published: 2011-01-20T16:00:00+00:00

Contents

Introduction

1. The Pointy-Haired Boss

2. Dilbert

3. Dogbert

4. Catbert

5. Wally

6. Alice

For Shelly

Introduction

I realize we’ve all been told that cubicles are an efficient way to organize a workplace. Cubicles improve communication, blah, blah, blah. But realistically, if an alien landed on Earth and took a tour of a cubicle farm, he would assume it was a penal colony. He might even marvel at how efficient it is, in the sense that coworkers punish one another without the need for sadistic guards. And the entire enterprise turns a profit. On the alien’s home planet, they probably pay guards to abuse the inmates, and the whole system loses money. The alien might radio home his findings and tell the generals to call off the invasion based on an assumption of our superiority.

To be fair, working in a cubicle isn’t all bad. For example, it’s good practice for being deceased. In both cases, someone puts you in a little box and other people do their best to bury you so you can’t leave. The intellectual stimulation is also very similar, except the departed enjoy the added excitement of decomposing.

And don’t forget the military applications for cubicles. If you take a terrorist from the rugged mountains of Waziristan and put him in a cubicle for a week, he’ll want out so bad he’ll give you intelligence information in languages he doesn’t even speak. He’ll be simultaneously talking through his nose, tapping Morse code with his foot, and doing charades with his hands. The CIA won’t be able to write it all down fast enough.

My point is that cubicles are amazing things. Don’t be critical of them unless you know the whole story.

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